Finding A Church Is Like Going On A Blind Date

Amanda and I relocated to Seattle from Kansas City a little over a year ago. Throughout our relationship we've talked about spirituality versus religion. As two very liberal thinkers, the confines of religion can be a difficult concept to fully grasp, but the idea is something we've continued to pursue. Our goal is to find a place where we feel accepted, connected, and inspired.

Finding a congregation can sometimes feel like going on a blind date; walking into an unknown place full of strangers, sitting down, trying to feel a connection...to the people, to the person speaking (indirectly) to you at the front, the words being spoken, the environment. And then when you leave, being honest with yourself about whether you want to go on another date, or continue to see them.

I'll be perfectly honest -- it's intimidating.  So intimidating that here's a confession: sometimes we've made it all the way to the parking lot and just couldn't muster the will to go inside. 

Growing up, I was raised in the Mormon (LDS) church. NO, my parents weren't polygamists and my life reflected nothing similar to what you may have seen on Big Love or Sister Wives.

It's a fair question because there's so much misinformation about different sects of Mormonism...but the answer is no.

I've always been grateful for my upbringing -- something I can say without hesitation. I went to church every Sunday with my family where we usually took up a pew in the back. Just sitting in church, I can remember how close I felt to them. Maybe that's part of what I loved about it. It was the one day where no matter, we stopped what we were doing and did something as a family. People would even comment that we looked like a train of people with interlocked arms around the other. If someone crossed their legs and shifted the other way, the train of arms shifted too.

I grew up in the Blue Springs First Ward and stayed in the same congregation until I moved out of state at 17. Part of me will always consider that to be home -- the people, the experience, it has a special place in my heart. It's hard to explain or put it into words but it was different. We were a tight knit community and saw each other through toddler years, awkward kid phases, teen angst. That's the good stuff.

For Mormons, going to church on Sunday is a 3 hour commitment (sometimes longer). 1 hour = Sacrament, 1 hour = Sunday School, 1 hour = dividing into Women/Men groups. I also spent much of my adolescence in seminary aka bible study before school. That's a large portion of your upbringing devoted to building a relationship with God and diving into your belief system. My dream growing up was to serve a mission for my church. My brother served in the Dominican Republic, my sister at Temple Square in Salt Lake City, and I wanted to be just like them. But when I was in high school, I was beginning to discover / admit things about myself.  I knew that the one way my church wouldn't embrace me (being gay) would ultimately mean that I couldn't serve a mission for them. It took me years to figure out how to deal with that disappointment. How could being gay (my sexual preference) have such a negative effect on the good that I wanted to do (devote 2 years of my life to my relationship with God)?

Being a religious person eventually morphed into being a spiritual one, building a relationship with God outside of the walls that I was once comfortable sitting within. Looking back, I'm not sure if it was that I truly didn't belong to the places that I tried on, or if I felt that way because I carried a different truth and was fearful of how others would react to it.  I hid the truth about who I was for roughly 30 years. The pronoun game consumed how I talked about my life. I was the person who was more willing to talk about what everyone else was doing, which in some ways made me a good friend. But I did my friends and family a disservice because I was only willing to meet them part way.

I'm now 100% open about my life because I love every single part of it and who I am.  

I'm not ashamed of who I love and I no longer feel like I have to hide it; quite the opposite, actually.  It's something I celebrate because I'm one of those crazy people who actually found the girl I always dreamt about. Now that I have her, I have an overwhelming desire to continue to expand my beliefs on love and life. She challenges me to be a better person, in every way.

Perhaps this is the reason that finding that connection -- whether it's spiritual or religious -- has become even more important to me. I'm not sure that I'll find what I'm looking for through organized religion, but it's exciting to share that journey together.

It's about taking a moment to stop the chaos that surrounds daily life and breathe in the reality that we're just tiny pieces in a great big world trying to make the most of our time here.

Be Who You Want To Be

There's something rejuvenating about a fresh start.  Even if you don't make new year resolutions, there's something about turning the calendar to January, or February, or the next month.  Personally, I don't make traditional resolutions.  I focus instead on setting goals and continuously adding things to my Bucket List, no matter how much time it takes me to reach them.

2013 was a great year for crossing some pretty big items off my list.  It was the year that I made moves toward becoming the boss of my own happiness.  I read a lot--a lot of books, magazines, blogs, case studies.  I marinated on an overwhelming amount of expertise from people I respect.

(Need a little help?  Check out some of my favorite blogs: Seth, Chris, Scott, Simon, Brene, Andrea. Have a suggestion? Message me.)

I committed to my ideas; even the ideas that seemed completely out of reach...like meeting my design hero.  I fired off an email last February, sent it out into the universe expecting nothing in return, and a few days later my phone rang (thanks for that, Aaron).  Nothing prepares you for answering that call and NOT sounding like a school girl.  And that's okay.  Being vulnerable is authentic.

Life is too short to not go after the things you want and be who you want to be.  This year, I'm focusing on committing more to my ideas and building a path to make it happen.  Some are small steps, others are big strides.  Some goals will be reached in a short time and others may take a year or longer.  I'm okay with that.  For me, it's about enjoying the journey, sharing the road, leaning in, and learning how to be a better me.

How Screenland's Popcorn Turned Into A Kernel of Collaboration

A few months ago, I had the opportunity to meet with Butch Rigby, owner of Screenland Theatres. Screenland is launching a line of new gourmet popcorn that will be released in Kansas City later this year and Butch and I were kicking around ideas. He talked about popcorn like you might talk about buying a new car--you know, the one you've always dreamed of. Listening to Butch talk about a passion project is always exciting and fun. I was fascinated by the history lesson I received (yes, popcorn actually has one).  In fact, just talking to him made me reflect on some of my favorite memories involving popcorn.  If you think about it, you'll probably have a few of your own.

Screenland is all about the details.  From the murals on the sidewalls to Rosco the robot opening the curtains, Butch always uses local artists to add finishing touches to his theatres.  Its those details that make movie-watching at Screenland a unique experience.  And so it follows that the brand for Screenland's new popcorn must adhere to the same recipe -- unique, exciting, engaging, different.

Somewhere in the mix of popcorn chatting, collaborating at Geek Night with my buddies Chris Morris & Albert Tong, and winning a rooster from a recent hackathon, an idea presented itself:

Brand Lab.  >> Queue the Back to the Future scene where Doc Brown hit his head on the toilet and drew the flux capacitor. <<

The idea behind Brand Lab in its simplest form is to connect local business with local creatives to build a local brand...in only 24 hours.  Brand Lab is a partnership that aims to take the hackathon concept and apply it directly to businesses in our community.  Businesses will receive direct access to local creatives. Creatives gain the opportunity to work on a real case study while showing off their skills and competing for cash prizes. The overall goal is to use collaboration to apply innovative applications of creative, design and technology to existing local businesses -- businesses that make our communities thrive.

Will it work?  We're going to find out.  Brand Lab for Screenland will be held the weekend of March 22nd (more info here: screenland.eventbrite.com or brandlabkc.com).  This is an open call for creatives of all types to help us build a local brand for Screenland's new gourmet popcorn.  Cash prizes, food & drinks provided, an evening movie break, milk & cookies at midnight, and even guest speakers like Danny O'Neill, founder of The Roasterie -- an amazing local business celebrating its 20th anniversary this year.

With a small idea that started just a few months ago, I've been overwhelmed by the support we're receiving.  From participants who are excited to groups like KC Design Core lending their support, guest judges like local rock star of all things social (and good friend) Ramsey Mohsen, mentors like Jon Kohrs with Stand Up for Good, the team at Local Ruckus giving us shout outs...and the list goes on.  This is why I love Kansas City -- people are always eager to collaborate and work on projects that benefit our community.

For more info on Brand Lab, checkout the website or watch the intro video with Butch Rigby below.  His passion is contagious -- you'll see what I mean.  And if you're intrigued enough, maybe you'll even signup to be a part of something really special.

If video does not appear, use this link: bit.ly/popcornvid

Screenland Brand Lab 24 Hour Branding Competition creative direction by Chris Lewman, production by KJO Media.

Do Something

"Do something for someone else."  

I was raised by an amazing mom who always encouraged spontaneous good deeds.  Small ways of helping others by thinking beyond yourself.  She planted this good deed seed with all of us at a very young age.  Throughout my life, I've heard the whisper of those words countless times: do something for someone else.  It's how the idea of Paint it Forward came to me three years ago.

I'm also a huge fan of Simon Sinek.  Over the past year, I've taken on several projects based on a question he posed during his 99% Conference Speech -- watch the whole 30 minute video (below), but for this portion Que up minute 18:49. Sinek asks, "What are you doing to help the person next to you?" 

Simon, my mom and I share a common belief that personal growth is even more profound and fulfilling when you build communities and relationships based on good will, expecting nothing in return. 

I'm a firm believer that big ideas or big moves start with crazy dreams.  I think this is why I love working with startups and small business owners so much.  That's where the magic is.  Most entrepreneurs start with an idea to fulfill a need that isn't being met the way they want it to be.

They dream of doing something.
Bigger. Better. More meaningful. Innovative.

Enter Jaime Lyon.  Jaime is my sister's best friend and I've known her since I was a kid.  If you've had the pleasure of talking to Jaime, you know how amazing her energy is.  It's infectious.  Jaime is someone who supported and encouraged my nerdy-artistic side when I was an awkward, tomboyish kid.  She made me feel normal.  Better than normal...accepted.  She knew I was different and took interest.  My earliest memories of her include small acts of kindness, encouragement and wickedly awesome support.  When you're young, you don't realize just how lucky you are to have someone like Jaime in your life.

Recently, Jaime made a career change.  After more than 12 years in the advertising business she  decided to refocus and do something she's always wanted to do.  In her words, "I want to motivate our youth to be confident, kind, positive and strong communicators. If you feel good you do good!"

How great is that?  Jaime is an artist and motivational speaker.  She paints colorful, imaginative,  original artwork for kids rooms, and she has amazing inspirational workshops in store for teens.  You can learn more about her on LinkedIn or visit her shop at etsy.com/shop/JaimeLyonArt.

I'm always honored to spend time with Jaime.  We learn from each other and our conversations seem to get better and better. Collaborating together, we were able to translate her vision into branding material.  In retrospect, to #paintitforward in this way is the very least I can do for someone who truly helped shape my inner artist from such an early age.  I can't wait to see what's next for Jaime.

Ideas 2 Share

One of my favorite things to do at the beginning of every week is watch/listen/read a few inspirational talks:

TED, 99%, commencement speeches

There are so many great messages out there -- so many people that have something to teach and pass on.

I recently stumbled upon a newer site (to me) - Creative Mornings: a global, monthly breakfast lecture series for creative types.  If you only have an hour to spare today, check out this talk from designer Aaron James Draplin of Draplin Design Co.  He gives an insightful view into his personal journey, hands out hilarious life lessons, and tells it like it is.

One thing that stuck out is right around 32:50 in the video where Draplin talks about Knowing What Really Matters in the End.  For him, it meant finding the time to help out a friend.  He touches on this more than once in his lecture and reminds us to leave room for the free stuff -- not just the things you're going to get paid for.  Passion projects aren't always money makers...but often times, they become the projects that you're most proud of.

Portland/CreativeMornings - Aaron James Draplin from CreativeMornings/Portland on Vimeo.

Zombie Chase

I hoard biz mag rags like they are family heirlooms.  I catalogue stories on entrepreneurs, startups, and other creatives for inspiration.  While reading Entrepreneur magazine this month, editor Amy Cosper (@entMagazineAmy) shared an extremely personal experience regarding losing everything in a recent fire.  Everything.  There's always an editor's note.  But this one was special...perhaps because it was so raw, open and honest.  It made me reflect on what holds me back from doing certain things, and how I would feel if I lost everything tomorrow.

Blame it on reading in bed at midnight, or that the new Resident Evil commercial was playing on TV in the background...but this was my thought: If you were running from a zombie, what would make your list of would've, should've, could've?  More than that...if you survived and had the opportunity to "reintegrate," how would you build your newly invigorated life?  I realize this is an extreme example to jump start the thought, but extreme is often necessary to provoke change.

Like many, there are things that I want to do but haven't found the time.  Why?  I'm stuck in my routine.

Today, I changed the routine.
I woke up an hour earlier.
I spent more time with my family before work.
I meditated about weaving all the things I want out of my dreams and into my reality.
I drove a different route.

I'm building my "would've, should've, could've" answer slowly...but I think I'm finally asking myself the right questions. 

Finding My Why

It's July 10th, 2012 and I am making a comeback to my much deprived blogosphere.

A little over two years ago, I took a hiatus after ending a 10 year relationship.  My life for all purposes should have been thrown off track.  But as it turns out, life has a way of showing you that the "here" is always exactly where you are intended to be.  I told the world [and anyone else listening] that I was perfectly fine being alone and figuring it out on my own.  In fact, I cursed relationships and was on a mission to "find myself."  No sooner than those words could escape my lips, I met the love of my life.  She has shown me the true meaning of "partner" in every sense of the word.  It's the kind of love that I never dreamed could exist beyond the movie screen.  

I could go on and on about the love in my life and I probably will in future blogs so I apologize now.  More to the point...

The original intent of Paint it Forward was to journal my creative nourishment project -- artistic or small acts of good will that I put out into the world, expecting nothing in return.  I can't say that the future intent has changed much.  

So my mission is this: align the rest of my life with the passion and inspiration that I've found in my love life.  Over the last year I've been in search of my "Why".  (I'm a huge fan of Simon Sinek and love his book Start With Why.  It is a MUST READ.)  I'm using this space as a journal of sorts to discuss projects that I've taken on over the past year -- aka current work (professional or other), mini "paint it forward" projects, and random thoughts and doodles.

I face timelines every day, so this will have none.  I am a work in progress and I own that statement proudly.  Here goes...something.