The Veil

As I get older, I realize how rare shared space is with the ones you love. I remember thinking to myself as a teenager, "God, I can't wait to get out of this house." Why was I in such a hurry to grow up, get out and move on? Hindsight is 20/20. I think it's impossible to appreciate the time you have under the same roof with your parents, near your family and friends, until it's gone. You can't truly appreciate it until those times are hard -- almost impossible to come by.

I'm getting married in 25 days - in Hawaii, with my family (and the girl of my dreams) by my side. We actually paid money to spend time together in the same house. Weird, right? People we love are flying there, just for us. I feel a flood of emotion just thinking about it. It's a big deal when people show up for you; overwhelming in the best way.

And as I'm getting caught up in wedding wonderland suddenly my grandma's song (Somewhere Over the Rainbow by Iz) comes on. It has no logical reason to play on my Otis Redding radio station, but there it is.  It / she has a way of doing that -- appearing in the most unlikely places as if to say "I'm not far away."

So I wonder - is the veil thin in moments like this? 

Moments where I'm celebrating a different type of veil (wedding veil)? 

Moments where I'm happy but wishing I could pick up the phone and call just to hear the sound of their voice one more time?

Do the people I love still surround me?   

Is it possible that the love they have for us reaches beyond the veil in ways that make us uncomfortable if we think about it too long -- like I'm getting freakishly cosmic?

I probably sound crazy for letting these thoughts escape my mind, but that's okay. The older I get, the less I care about what seems crazy to others; the more I want to be present.  I'm open to whatever the feeling is when it happens, and it happens, often in the most unexpected ways.  Like seeing my loved ones around me in different forms -- a song, a whisper, a stranger.  

The other day a woman got off at Amanda's bus stop carrying groceries, put down her bags and smiled at me. I felt my grandma so strongly that I had to circle the block, turn the car around (and risk seeming like a creeper) to ask if we could give her a ride. She gladly accepted the offer, doting on our small act of kindness by repeatedly calling us angels. She thanked us as she got out of the car and as we watched her walk safely to her apartment, the small fraction of time in her presence made me so happy that I almost burst into tears.

She was my grandma's spirit. And it doesn't matter if I'm the only one who felt that or actually believes it.

Death is so intriguing -- fascinating even. I've had more time to think about it than most. There once was a time in my life when I didn't think I would live to see my 20th birthday. I was diagnosed with chronic pneumonia at the age of 17, given a cystic fibrosis vest to wear at 18, team of doctors at 19 who finally found and removed the big T word (tumor), along with most of my right lung. My doctors said I shouldn't have lived through it, but I did. I'm 34 now and 2014 marks 17 years past what I thought would be my expiration date. By those terms, I've actually lived an entire second life and am staring down my third. Perhaps my experience has left me a bit more cosmic and open to angelic nudging, and I'm okay with that.

Hi, my name is Chris and I believe in angels and cosmic shit.

I'm extremely grateful for the life I have, my weird little family and the incredible amount of love that's surrounding my fiancé and I as we approach "I do." So whether I'm imagining these moments to be more than mere coincidence, or if they really are what I think they are, I'm thankful for a brush with the veil.

She

She.

She understands. 

She understands me.
She accepts my worst and loves me anyway.
She tells me my worst is still someone else's best.
She pushes me in every good way.
She holds my hand and makes my heart tingle.
She still kisses me gently.

She calms me.
She reads in bed and touches my arm without knowing that she's doing it.
She fake screams when she wants to be dramatic. 

She makes me giggle.
She is funny - like Kev Hart funny.
She is sexy.

She steals my T-shirts to sleep in.
She's beautiful. Period.
She's smart - wicked smaht (Boston accent).
She lets me in.
She loves to be wooed and to woo in return.

She shows me her most authentic self.

She lets me be me.
She gives -- oh, how she gives, to everyone.
She's a self-deprecating spin doctor when someone tries to pay her a compliment.
She talks tough but is actually a big softy.

She loves.

She loves me.
She loves me tender.

She is the girl.

She is the girl I waited for.

She is the one.

She.

A Love Note to My 14 Year Old Self...

Happy 14th birthday, Chris!

I'm sure this will be strange to hear but 20 years from now you will be grateful for these awkward teen years and the struggles you are facing...even the ones you don't want to talk to anyone about. Twenty years from now you'll have much different ideas about what is important because you don't live in Hawaii, you didn't go on a 2 year mission, you don't live next door to your childhood best friend, and you don't have the kids, car and job that you keep wishing for when you play MASH.

But hang on, because the twists and the turns that will smack you in your face over the next 20 years are the gifts that will fill your life with substance.  

Twenty years from now you won't be a beach volleyball star because your life is going to take a much different course. The air you breathe in and out every single day will have a much deeper meaning to you. It's easy to take for granted now, and that's okay. But this one minute detail won't be minute at all. You will feel grateful and value every single breath you take. 

I am proud of you, Chris.  I know you don't hear that a lot.  I know you're frustrated and the things you do sometimes seem like background noise when you try to share something. But trust me, you're parents are proud of you, too. They're paying attention but they are raising SIX kids -- sometimes more than that with all of the friends they welcome into your home, which seems really annoying at times. But watching your siblings and their friends will teach you so much about life. You'll learn from their victories and their losses. 

Your siblings and your parents will be some of your biggest cheerleaders. You'll laugh about the things that made you cry, scream, kick and pull eachother's hair. Believe it or not, your siblings will actually apologize to you for playing games like Poltergeist, making you "run to the light" because they couldn't see you. Though sibling torture will make you wish you were an only child more often than not, you'll grow up and realize how great you had it. So suck it up because these things help build your character. 

As the youngest of six, you're already honing a major super power.  Listening.  Listening is an amazing skill that will serve you well...in life, love and all things important.  One day you will use this skill to start your own business and be part of helping other people start their business.  Listening will take you places you can't imagine because through this simple act you will learn how to communicate, hear an idea and help someone transform that idea into something greater.  

Listening will also serve you well through the great losses in your life.  You're scared of having a photographic memory but if you embrace it, especially during the moments in life that you want to remember, you'll be able to play those as easily as popping in your favorite movie. And about that, it's okay to admit that you love The Last Dragon without shame. Embrace the things that make you different from your friends because, Chris, this is the good stuff. 

Your parents tell you that your grandparents won't be around forever and sometimes you roll your eyes.  But they're right.  I'm telling you this because I want you to enjoy the time you have with them. The stories.  The card games. The puzzles. Ask them questions about their life. Ask them WHY they can cook 50 different types of meals only using potatoes -- there's a reason.  Ask them everything you want to ask them because when you're older, you'll want to know these things. You'll want to know EVERYTHING about them.

Keep drawing and stop throwing away everything that isn't perfect. You don't have to be perfect. Life is messy and the messy is what makes it great. So keep giving your family the cards that you draw for them. One day, even though it doesn't seem like a big deal now, they'll each tell you how much it meant. 

And here's a big secret I'm going to share with you. Twenty years from now it won't be weird to love a girl. You won't feel like you have to choose between what you think God wants for you and being true to yourself, because you'll realize that you're living the life you were meant to live. Seriously. Twenty years from now you'll have met the girl of your dreams and you'll be planning a wedding in Hawaii. And guess what? Your family will be behind you 100%...even your parents -- especially your parents.

You will grow up to be exactly who you are meant to be. So buckle your seatbelt, Chris, and get ready for the bumps in the road ahead. Smile and laugh and hold on tight when you fly over the hills and your stomach drops. Because twenty years later, your life keeps getting better.

Much love,

You at 34

Stillness

Blondie and I made the trip to Mount Rainier recently -- the first of many trips to this beautiful place. We've seen it from a distance for more than a year to which Amanda always shakes her head in wonder and says "we live in a damn post card." She's right. Up close and personal, it gets even better. 

It was a great reminder of how easy it is to get bogged down, buried in routines day after day. We sometimes take the beauty that surrounds us for granted. Being in the mountains made me stop and appreciate where I am. It reminded me to pay attention and take notice of the things, ideas, people and places that wake something inside of me. I'm drawn to moments of silence in part because they are so rare -- and if I'm quiet enough, in the stillness, I get to a place of unbelievable peace. I am moved. I feel more connected to myself, my thoughts, and my dreams. Life's stresses seem to melt far away. I feel humble, happy, overwhelmed and even a touch fearful when faced with the sheer magnitude of how small I am. Nature has a way of putting you in your place and sometimes, that's exactly what you ( I ) need. 

Finding A Church Is Like Going On A Blind Date

Amanda and I relocated to Seattle from Kansas City a little over a year ago. Throughout our relationship we've talked about spirituality versus religion. As two very liberal thinkers, the confines of religion can be a difficult concept to fully grasp, but the idea is something we've continued to pursue. Our goal is to find a place where we feel accepted, connected, and inspired.

Finding a congregation can sometimes feel like going on a blind date; walking into an unknown place full of strangers, sitting down, trying to feel a connection...to the people, to the person speaking (indirectly) to you at the front, the words being spoken, the environment. And then when you leave, being honest with yourself about whether you want to go on another date, or continue to see them.

I'll be perfectly honest -- it's intimidating.  So intimidating that here's a confession: sometimes we've made it all the way to the parking lot and just couldn't muster the will to go inside. 

Growing up, I was raised in the Mormon (LDS) church. NO, my parents weren't polygamists and my life reflected nothing similar to what you may have seen on Big Love or Sister Wives.

It's a fair question because there's so much misinformation about different sects of Mormonism...but the answer is no.

I've always been grateful for my upbringing -- something I can say without hesitation. I went to church every Sunday with my family where we usually took up a pew in the back. Just sitting in church, I can remember how close I felt to them. Maybe that's part of what I loved about it. It was the one day where no matter, we stopped what we were doing and did something as a family. People would even comment that we looked like a train of people with interlocked arms around the other. If someone crossed their legs and shifted the other way, the train of arms shifted too.

I grew up in the Blue Springs First Ward and stayed in the same congregation until I moved out of state at 17. Part of me will always consider that to be home -- the people, the experience, it has a special place in my heart. It's hard to explain or put it into words but it was different. We were a tight knit community and saw each other through toddler years, awkward kid phases, teen angst. That's the good stuff.

For Mormons, going to church on Sunday is a 3 hour commitment (sometimes longer). 1 hour = Sacrament, 1 hour = Sunday School, 1 hour = dividing into Women/Men groups. I also spent much of my adolescence in seminary aka bible study before school. That's a large portion of your upbringing devoted to building a relationship with God and diving into your belief system. My dream growing up was to serve a mission for my church. My brother served in the Dominican Republic, my sister at Temple Square in Salt Lake City, and I wanted to be just like them. But when I was in high school, I was beginning to discover / admit things about myself.  I knew that the one way my church wouldn't embrace me (being gay) would ultimately mean that I couldn't serve a mission for them. It took me years to figure out how to deal with that disappointment. How could being gay (my sexual preference) have such a negative effect on the good that I wanted to do (devote 2 years of my life to my relationship with God)?

Being a religious person eventually morphed into being a spiritual one, building a relationship with God outside of the walls that I was once comfortable sitting within. Looking back, I'm not sure if it was that I truly didn't belong to the places that I tried on, or if I felt that way because I carried a different truth and was fearful of how others would react to it.  I hid the truth about who I was for roughly 30 years. The pronoun game consumed how I talked about my life. I was the person who was more willing to talk about what everyone else was doing, which in some ways made me a good friend. But I did my friends and family a disservice because I was only willing to meet them part way.

I'm now 100% open about my life because I love every single part of it and who I am.  

I'm not ashamed of who I love and I no longer feel like I have to hide it; quite the opposite, actually.  It's something I celebrate because I'm one of those crazy people who actually found the girl I always dreamt about. Now that I have her, I have an overwhelming desire to continue to expand my beliefs on love and life. She challenges me to be a better person, in every way.

Perhaps this is the reason that finding that connection -- whether it's spiritual or religious -- has become even more important to me. I'm not sure that I'll find what I'm looking for through organized religion, but it's exciting to share that journey together.

It's about taking a moment to stop the chaos that surrounds daily life and breathe in the reality that we're just tiny pieces in a great big world trying to make the most of our time here.

Happy Birthday Sonny

Yesterday was my Son's 7th birthday.  Emerson (aka Sonny, aka Henry, aka Bubba, aka Boogie) was a rescue who, like most rescues, had a tough beginning.  At the time, I didn't plan on getting a dog.  I was in the middle of grad school, at the end of a really bad relationship, and timing was anything but right.  I was making the routine Target run when I saw him out of the corner of my eye.  That's where adoption shelters are smart.  Even as a marketer, it's hard for me to resist interacting.  I walked over to his kennel and we stared at each other for awhile.  A young girl took him out and handed him to me like a baby.  He looked up at me, put his head on my shoulder and wrapped his arms around my neck (no joke).

"I'll take him!" I said without thinking. It was love at first sight.

That was the day my Son rescued me.  Six years later, we've lived in 5 houses together, met the girls of our dreams, and traveled cross country as a family to start a new adventure.  It's hard to believe he's already 7. So happy, happy birthday, Emerson! I'm thankful for you (and our girls) every single second of every single day.

Be Who You Want To Be

There's something rejuvenating about a fresh start.  Even if you don't make new year resolutions, there's something about turning the calendar to January, or February, or the next month.  Personally, I don't make traditional resolutions.  I focus instead on setting goals and continuously adding things to my Bucket List, no matter how much time it takes me to reach them.

2013 was a great year for crossing some pretty big items off my list.  It was the year that I made moves toward becoming the boss of my own happiness.  I read a lot--a lot of books, magazines, blogs, case studies.  I marinated on an overwhelming amount of expertise from people I respect.

(Need a little help?  Check out some of my favorite blogs: Seth, Chris, Scott, Simon, Brene, Andrea. Have a suggestion? Message me.)

I committed to my ideas; even the ideas that seemed completely out of reach...like meeting my design hero.  I fired off an email last February, sent it out into the universe expecting nothing in return, and a few days later my phone rang (thanks for that, Aaron).  Nothing prepares you for answering that call and NOT sounding like a school girl.  And that's okay.  Being vulnerable is authentic.

Life is too short to not go after the things you want and be who you want to be.  This year, I'm focusing on committing more to my ideas and building a path to make it happen.  Some are small steps, others are big strides.  Some goals will be reached in a short time and others may take a year or longer.  I'm okay with that.  For me, it's about enjoying the journey, sharing the road, leaning in, and learning how to be a better me.

Here Comes Happily Ever After...

Life.
Love.
The pursuit of happiness.

Four years ago I was sitting in a bar with some amazing friends who had kidnapped me because my roller coaster of a relationship had ended -- more like crash landed with a really loud thud...a Die Hard kind of explosion. I was fading into a peaceful oblivion, silently swearing off relationships and saying to myself "This is my year to be alone--to figure it out."

Suddenly, in walked the woman who would become the love of my life and show me that everything I thought I knew about love was only a mere fraction of the story we would write together.

Our circle of friends came together that night, though neither of us had intended to be there. Looking back, I can see that there was a much bigger purpose.

A greater force was at play.
Stars aligned.
It was serendipitous.

She was smart, witty, funny, flirty...and openly gay -- huge bonus. We didn't exchange numbers but there was something about this girl.  As I watched her walk away at the end of the night, I honestly thought I would never see her again.  But the possibility of how a relationship could be stayed with me. The best conversation of my life began that night...and it never stopped.

From the very beginning, we were different. We'd both been through the relationship nightmare(s) and were determined to not take for granted that one little gift that every relationship begins with...trust. We were better partners than we'd ever been before. Better friends. With more understanding. More patience. More of everything. We encountered so many obstacles, from exes who randomly drunk texted or showed up, to friends we lost along the way because they were more interested in the sadder version of who we once were. But with the bad came an enormous amount of good in the form of unwavering support from family and friends who could see that we were genuinely happy.

For the first time in my life, I was thinking about marriage--an idea I had let go of a long time ago not only because it wasn't legal for same sex couples, but because I never had the desire to be married. With more than 60% ending in divorce, it's easy to just say people are crazy for trying.  But I get it now...and I have since the first time I said "I love you."  My good friend Beth would say "To love someone is to risk knowing what it is like to be them." I honestly can't say it any better than that.

It's hard to plan a proposal that lives up to how special you want the most special person in your entire world to feel.  It took months of planning and thankfully, it all came together perfectly.  So this is for the friends and family that have been there with us along the way, many of whom have asked, "So...how'd you ask?"

THE PROPOSAL STORY...

I solicited the help of our good friends, Ashlee and Katie, to pick Amanda up.  I was "running late" and going to meet them at brunch.  When she got into the car, they gave her a gift -- a popup book I made for her about our relationship...(see video).

(If the video comes in blurry, let it play to :15 seconds and then restart it. It will load a little clearer the next time you play it. You can also enlarge the view in the bottom right corner of the video player.)

Direct video link: http://youtu.be/gnNOFRW2m30

While Amanda read the book, Katie and Ashlee drove her to meet me at a gallery nearby.  When she arrived, there was a window display that featured some favorite moments of our very first conversations back and forth to each other...the beginning of our love story.

 

(I love this picture because you can see the reflection of my accomplices capturing her reaction for me. Thanks Ash!)

(More photos from my accomplices)

As she entered, there was music playing overhead. I made a playlist for her called "Marry Me" that had been on my iPhone for months.  The nights leading up to the proposal I spent listening to it...annoyingly so to Amanda who had no idea why I suddenly liked listening to my headphones while the TV was on.  But I just wanted to make sure it would play without a hitch.

There were stations set up with candles that guided her along a path.  Each had a note from me and something relevant to that note.

Stop #1: Our very first Christmas, we made nearly the exact same gift for each other.  I made her a typography book and she gave me a scrapbook of our conversations / emails / notes which were more like "top 10" lists back and forth to each other.

Stop #2: This was one of my favorites.  Friends and family sent in advice on love, friendship and marriage.  They said things like:

"Marriage is like a never-ending slumber party with your best friend."

"Happiness is a loving 50/50 relationship with your soul mate. (giggle) Okay, how about 60/40?"

"The secret to a happy marriage is separate bathrooms."  

Who couldn't agree with that?

Stop #3: Amanda writes me letters.  These were a few of my favorites from our very first month of dating to our 3 year anniversary.  I wanted her to read them so she could remember how she felt and reflect on how far we've come.

Stop #4:  Cards I've drawn for her.  Everything from our first fight (which wasn't really a fight) to stick figures that say things like "If we dated in the 80s, I would totally pull a Lloyd Dobbler in your driveway." (Say Anything reference)  

She didn't read all of these...it was just another reminder. I wanted her to know how much I love dating her and made a promise to always up my woo game with little reminders of how ooey gooey I feel about her. 

Stop #5:  Our weird little happy family and things that have meaning to us.

Stop #6:  A quote from Dolly Parton, "If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain."  

Dolly holds a special place in Amanda's heart for many reasons.  We've only had two "some day" wishes.  One was to move west and get married (legally) and the other was to have Amanda's favorite artist, Jota Leal, commission a Dolly painting for us.  We're big art lovers and this was truly the ultimate "some day" piece.  

The last note told Amanda to turn the corner.  When she did, she found me standing in front of the Dolly painting that Jota painted...just for her.

(Jota Leal with our finished Dolly Parton commission)

I love this pic of Amanda looking at the painting after the proposal.

It's hard to explain the amazing lighting in this space, but it was one reason I chose it. The skylights open and close with cool old cranks. Only one was open that day shining perfectly down. 

What followed?  A lot of tears, a beautiful exchange of words, laughing, ugly crying, and of course the ultimate question on bended knee, "Will you marry me?"  Followed by a choked up "Yes!"  It was a day and a moment I will never forget, asking the girl of my dreams to marry me.  And now, we're on to the next fun part -- wedding planning.  

So to the friends and family that have supported us along the way, words can't express how much you mean to us.  Thank you for being part of our happily ever after.  This is only the beginning...

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P.S. to my girlfriend -- scratch that, my fiancé: you can no longer sing "if you like it then you shouldaputaringonit!" but I will truly miss the cute dance and hand wagging that always accompanied those infamous Beyonce lyrics :)

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SPECIAL THANKS TO:

Jota Leal and James Cowan of Morpheus Fine Art (jotaleal.com and morpheusgallery.com) for conspiring with me on the Dolly painting and delivering something that surpassed our expectations.

Ashlee & Katie for letting me steal part of your Sunday and for being really great sports about it!  We love you guys!

As another surprise for Amanda, I had our dog sitter and her friend (both amazing singers) record our 2 favorite songs.  Download their song covers with these links:

Heavenly Day Cover: CLICK HERE

Somewhere Over the Rainbow Cover: CLICK HERE

Kelly & Mindi - amazing friends who made me go out with them on the evening that Amanda and I met.  Sometimes, your friends really do know what's best for you :)

Friends & Family near and far away: being in Seattle is tough because we no longer have the luxury of being close in proximity to celebrate when we have good news...but we're thinking of you and loving you from afar.

Our parents: for your unconditional love, support and blessing. Thank you for loving us without question.

Aaron Draplin and the Field Notes Crew:  I could be wrong, but I think I may have just launched the world's first pop up proposal book and wouldn't have done it with anything but my favorite FIELD NOTES (fieldnotesbrand.com and draplin.com).

Sara Bareilles: Credit for the song in the video.  It is one of our favorites from her new album, The Blessed Unrest, called "I Choose You." (sarabmusic.com or https://twitter.com/sarabareilles)

Sharpie: Oh, how I love your Ultra Fine Point Marker.  I use them for...well, everything.

Lucca Great Finds: Amazing paper and where I buy FIELD NOTES locally.  I also bought the cool time capsule, and the 4 year sparkler there.  The staff was awesome on the phone and even more helpful in the store. (luccagreatfinds.com)

Marriage Equality: To the 16 states that have legalized same sex marriage, and those who will hopefully follow, thanks for believing that #loveislove. 

"And even better...I get to be the other half of you."

Love that line from our Sara Bareilles song -- it pretty much sums up how I feel.

I am beyond excited to marry this beautiful woman. Lucky me!

Change.

de.cide   /di'sid/   v.   [instrans.]   to come to a resolution in the mind as a result of consideration.

re.set  [transitive verb]  to set again or anew; to change the reading of often to zero.

change  [verb]  to become transformed or different; to make the form, nature, content or future course of (something) different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone.

Amanda and I left KC on a Saturday morning.  It was bittersweet to see the skyline in our rearview mirror.  Sad to leave the people we love but excited at the unknown possibilities that lie ahead for our weird little happy family.

It seems rare.  Those moments in life that ask you to step outside of your routine.  The moments that challenge you to make a decision to change or continue to stay the same.  Coming face to face with that very opportunity, we decided to take the more adventurous route: CHANGE.

"Change is good."  A trite but true cliche, depending on how you choose to see it.

I'm a Kansas City native.  It's the place I'll always consider to be my home.  We were lucky enough to spend the last two years in a cozy little nest in the Columbus Park area.  Calling a weird, funky little neighborhood our home made us fall in love with the city we grew up in in an entirely new way.  Our neighbor was a chef...like, a real one at a real restaurant.  We had a favorite Saturday morning brunch hangout where we loved the staff and became regulars to the point that they would hug us when we came in.  We loved waking up to church bells, sirens, and the whisper of city noise.  We loved Monday night nerd shenanigans where laptops & entrepreneurial ideas dominated trendy locally owned bars, also known to a select group as Geek Night.  We loved spending time with our friends and family and watching our nieces and nephews grow from tiny little people into miniature adults.  We love Kansas City.  It will always be home.

Our adventure took us from KC to Breckenridge, CO to Sundance, UT to Boise, ID and finally to Seattle.  Four days in a car should test your relationship but the cross-country road trip was exactly what we needed to reconnect.  The fields, the blue sky, the hundreds of miles of farmland, mountains, vineyards, sharing the road with people in airstream trailers.  I'd forgotten how much I truly love being on a road trip.  It never seemed like we had time for one...but I'm pretty sure it's going to become a new tradition, in smaller doses of course.

Some people probably think we're crazy.  Afterall, we traded our cushy healthcare jobs in and replaced our 2400 sq ft 2-car garage townhome for an almost 900 sq ft apartment in a great location with amazing views and no a/c (because apparently you don't need that here).

It's all in perception.  What's crazy to some makes perfect sense to us.  This was the opportunity to downsize and to change -- to make the future course of our lives different from what it would have been if left alone.  It's the opportunity to reinvent whatever we want our lives to look like.

So here's to change and the rediscovery that lies ahead...

How Screenland's Popcorn Turned Into A Kernel of Collaboration

A few months ago, I had the opportunity to meet with Butch Rigby, owner of Screenland Theatres. Screenland is launching a line of new gourmet popcorn that will be released in Kansas City later this year and Butch and I were kicking around ideas. He talked about popcorn like you might talk about buying a new car--you know, the one you've always dreamed of. Listening to Butch talk about a passion project is always exciting and fun. I was fascinated by the history lesson I received (yes, popcorn actually has one).  In fact, just talking to him made me reflect on some of my favorite memories involving popcorn.  If you think about it, you'll probably have a few of your own.

Screenland is all about the details.  From the murals on the sidewalls to Rosco the robot opening the curtains, Butch always uses local artists to add finishing touches to his theatres.  Its those details that make movie-watching at Screenland a unique experience.  And so it follows that the brand for Screenland's new popcorn must adhere to the same recipe -- unique, exciting, engaging, different.

Somewhere in the mix of popcorn chatting, collaborating at Geek Night with my buddies Chris Morris & Albert Tong, and winning a rooster from a recent hackathon, an idea presented itself:

Brand Lab.  >> Queue the Back to the Future scene where Doc Brown hit his head on the toilet and drew the flux capacitor. <<

The idea behind Brand Lab in its simplest form is to connect local business with local creatives to build a local brand...in only 24 hours.  Brand Lab is a partnership that aims to take the hackathon concept and apply it directly to businesses in our community.  Businesses will receive direct access to local creatives. Creatives gain the opportunity to work on a real case study while showing off their skills and competing for cash prizes. The overall goal is to use collaboration to apply innovative applications of creative, design and technology to existing local businesses -- businesses that make our communities thrive.

Will it work?  We're going to find out.  Brand Lab for Screenland will be held the weekend of March 22nd (more info here: screenland.eventbrite.com or brandlabkc.com).  This is an open call for creatives of all types to help us build a local brand for Screenland's new gourmet popcorn.  Cash prizes, food & drinks provided, an evening movie break, milk & cookies at midnight, and even guest speakers like Danny O'Neill, founder of The Roasterie -- an amazing local business celebrating its 20th anniversary this year.

With a small idea that started just a few months ago, I've been overwhelmed by the support we're receiving.  From participants who are excited to groups like KC Design Core lending their support, guest judges like local rock star of all things social (and good friend) Ramsey Mohsen, mentors like Jon Kohrs with Stand Up for Good, the team at Local Ruckus giving us shout outs...and the list goes on.  This is why I love Kansas City -- people are always eager to collaborate and work on projects that benefit our community.

For more info on Brand Lab, checkout the website or watch the intro video with Butch Rigby below.  His passion is contagious -- you'll see what I mean.  And if you're intrigued enough, maybe you'll even signup to be a part of something really special.

If video does not appear, use this link: bit.ly/popcornvid

Screenland Brand Lab 24 Hour Branding Competition creative direction by Chris Lewman, production by KJO Media.

Listen. Learn. Adapt.

I've noticed as I've grown older that I do less talking and more listening. This is a good thing. After all, I know me. I've known me for 32 years. I'm more interested in things that aren't me; things that help me to be better, do better and see things in a different light.

As the youngest of six kids, my role was often that of the listener...but I wasn't always a good one. I try harder now.  I make an effort to trim the noise and listen.  Really listen. 

It's a great way to learn; learn about other people, methods, process, insight, ideas, best practice, new practice, etc. Learning enables me to change, improve and adapt. I've found that I do my best work when I follow this formula.  

Listen. Learn. Adapt.

Winning A Rooster

Rent Pony Team: Andrew Evans, Chris Morris, Igor Kantor holding SPN Prairie Dog, Chris Lewman, Albert Tong

This is the story of how my girlfriend kicking me out (for a weekend) led to a rooster being pardoned in Iowa.  

Monday evenings in KC is known to a circle of designers, developers and entrepreneurs as "Geek Night."  Anyone who wants to join is always welcome.  We geeks meet at various venues around town to work on side projects, collaborate, ask for advice, give feedback and of course, take advantage of happy hour.  In other words, Geek Night is my poker night.  It's the night that my girlfriend lovingly kicks me out of the house and tells me to get the "geek speak" out of my system.  Oh, how I love her...and Geek Night.

A few weeks ago, fellow geek, Chris Morris, said to me,

     "Hey, let's go to Iowa."

     "Huh?"

     "Dwolla is hosting something called the Old MacDonald Hack Day and the first three prizes are a cow, a pig and a rooster."

     "You want me to road trip to Iowa with a car full of boys to win a farm animal?  I'm a vegetarian!"

     "So what!  Did you hear me?  We could actually win a cow, a pig or a rooster."

When I got home, I told my girlfriend how funny Chris was.  "Drive to Iowa...Old MacDonald...win a cow, a pig or a rooster."  By the time I was done rambling, she said, "I just signed you up.  You have to do this!"  I know, I have the coolest girlfriend in the world, right?  She buys me video games, too...and looks up cheat codes.  I'm lucky, to say the least.

The boys and I met to discuss potential ideas and landed on a top 5 list.  The challenge was to use fresh code and build something really cool that best utilized Dwolla API.  Dwolla makes paying anyone, anywhere easy, and it's better for business.  Unlike traditional payment networks where a business is charged a percentage (2.0% or higher per transaction), Dwolla charges .25 cents for transactions over $10.  Under $10 is free.  Learn more about Dwolla, here. 

Friday rolled around and the boys piled into my car.  We had a 3 hour ride ahead to choose our hack and decided on Chris M.'s idea: to build something that made paying rent easier.  We all chimed in expressing current frustrations about the tenant/landlord process and the fact that rent is one of the only checks that we still write.  We discussed how cool it would be to build a messaging component for landlords and tenants to communicate that would solve everything from late notices to maintenance requests, electronic reporting options, building neighborhood discussions, and the list goes on.  It was settled.  This was our idea.

The last hour of the trip was spent annoying each other with potential names for our rent app:

Rent Rooster.  

Rent Mate.  

Rent Daddy.  

Rents Due.  

Yo Rent.  

Rent Pal.  

Rentalicious.  

Renteriffic.  

Rent Mart.  

Rents Paid.  

Rent Ferret.  

Rent Dawg.  

Rentwa (mashup of Rent and Iowa).  

You get the idea.  We started looking up synonyms for "Money" and "Paid" and found "Pony up."  Suddenly, we yelled out, "Rent Pony."  Maybe it was the drive, maybe it was the full moon, or the fact that we'd never said "rent" so much in our entire lives, but we all agreed: Rent Pony it is.

Friday night, we partied with the Dwolla staff, and pitched our idea to Ben Milne, Dwolla CEO.  He loved it...and that was all the confirmation we needed.

Rent Pony Team with Ben Milne and Michael Schonfeld

The hackathon started at 9:30am the next day and since we were first to arrive, we snagged a private room with a view and a door.  Twenty-four hours later, we were sleep-deprived but full of caffeine and had a pretty cool looking app.  As designer for Rent Pony, I spent my time very wisely creating some playful buzz by turning Dwolla employees into Rent Pony pictures.

Building the Rent Pony Logo

Turning Dwolla Employees into Pony Portraits

As we listened to the presentations on Sunday, I was overwhelmed with the creativity and great ideas that filled the room.  I knew how hard my team had worked on Rent Pony, but I had a strong appreciation for the work that everyone had put in that weekend, especially the Dwolla team.  Several team members stuck around and spent the entire 24 hours with us.  They emptied our trash cans, brought us drinks, fed us milk and cookies at midnight, let us wake them up at 3am to ask questions, and more.  There was a great sense of community and collaboration.  Though we felt like we could fall asleep standing up, I was proud to present Rent Pony with my KC crew, not just to the distinguished judging panel, but to everyone who was there in support of what we were doing.  At the end of the day, we were just 5 geeks from Kansas City, hacking alongside geeks in Iowa, working together to build cool stuff.

Sneak Peek: Select Rent Pony Screenshots

After much deliberation, the judges announced the winners.  Full story recap on Dwolla (here) or Silicon Prairie News (here).  "And the rooster goes to....Rent Pony!"  We also received the runner up award for the Best Photo of the weekend (here).  

We were hoping to at least get a picture with the rooster.  Instead, we left Dwolla with strict instructions for our prize: pardon the rooster and donate prize money to charity on behalf of Rent Pony.

More to come on building out Rent Pony and publishing our app.  If you're in KC, stop by Geek Night where you'll be sure to find some of us speaking geek. Just look for a bunch of people with laptops and we'll welcome you with open arms.

Rent Pony Team:

• Albert Tong, iOS Architect, Designer & Developer, @alberttong
• Andrew Evans, Developer, Beergrammer, Back End, @agius
• SPN recently featured him here: Read About Andrew Evans
• Chris Morris, Interactive Web Developer, @bishop81
• Igor Kantor, iOS Developer, @iiiggs
• Chris Lewman, Designer, Marketing, Branding, @chrislewman 

Rent Pony Links:

• Show support: Rent Pony on Backly - if you like the idea, let us know
• Rent Pony on Twitter 
• Dwolla Blog - Photos & Old MacDonald Recap: Read Story Here 
• Silicon Prairie News: And The Cow Goes To...

Facebook Breakup

I admire those of you who have figured out how to Facebook like a champ.  Those who have successfully integrated it into your lives and thought "How did I ever live without this?"  Sadly, I am not one of those.  

A little over a year ago, I quit Facebook.  I unliked.  We broke up.  Why?  I was becoming less of a friend than I wanted to be.  Seeing everyone's photos and posts was great...for awhile.  Reconnecting with people that I grew up with was actually pretty cool.  But then, ironically, it seemed (to me) that when face-to-face, everyone had less and less to talk about.  I didn't feel like I needed to "check in" as often because if I wanted to know something about someone, I could probably find it on Facebook.  Phone calls had been replaced by posting quick congratulatory or other messages on a Facebook wall rather than having a real conversation. When I sat back, I realized that for me, by being too connected I had become unconnected.  

So I unplugged.  

I broke up with Facebook.

What followed was more than just un-liking Facebook.  It has been an attempt to reconnect with "my connections" in a more meaningful way. I needed time to try and figure out what that meant for me.  And I'm still figuring it out.  Mostly, it's an ongoing effort to be more present.  Paint it Forward is my way of journaling, figuring out my path, what works, what doesn't, and learning how I can do better. 

A few months ago, I had the opportunity to help a friend.  After the loss of her best friend, Beth began painting.  But painting hardly describes it.  Beth has a way of telling a story, both through her paintings and the amazing "words of art" that she sometimes shares with me.  She needed a way to post her growing portfolio online and update it without hassling with HTML and extensive website knowledge. In just a few evenings, we setup an easy to maintain blog and designed a business card together.  But it was more than just helping someone accomplish a few things on their business to do list.  When we spend time together, we really spend time.  And I love that.

What I received when painting it forward in this way far exceeded what I gave.  There is a common theme here.  When giving, I still end up on the receiving end.  It's funny how that works.

In all fairness, Facebook wasn't my nemesis.  I'm not telling anyone to quit.  It just didn't work for me.  I've learned that being unconnected gives me more opportunity to connect in ways that are meaningful for me.  And I'm okay with that.

Check out Beth's work at SignatureEAB.blogspot.com. 

Never Stop Learning

I've noticed that when I sit still, without any distractions...my life seems to fall into place. It's clearer somehow.

Today, I found myself missing my Grandpa Jack and wondering what my life would look like if he was still here.
I miss the stories,
the laughter,
his jokes,
his insight.
I even miss the way his leather chair smelled when I would fall asleep in it,
or the warmth I felt when he would walk by and cover me up with a blanket.

My grandpa was one of my best friends growing up. He was present...always. The last thing he said to me was "Never stop learning; when we stop learning, we stop growing." These words have served as a mantra in my life.  They played a major role when I pushed myself to graduate from college...to go for my MBA...to start my own business...to open my heart.

I've noticed that when I sit still, without any distractions...I sometimes hear his voice in my head telling me to keep going...that there is more in store for me...to keep learning.

Who You Are

I was at a networking event recently when someone asked me the question, "What are you about?"  Naturally, I started talking about what I love to do in a business sense.  He stopped me and said, "No, I mean you...what are you about?"

Great question.  Not everyone asks this question point blank.  In fact, it's rare to be asked such a thing in these situations.  But even when people ask what you do, they are really asking who you are.  They are trying to gauge whether you're someone they want to stay connected with.  As business professionals, we are conditioned to format what we do (not who we are) into a 1-minute elevator speech. 

Think about the information that you lead with.  It's not always about what you do.  People want to connect with who you are. 

Local Love

LOCAL LOVE | I pride myself on trying to find unique gifts, especially for birthdays.  I love it even more when those gifts support local artists.

Earlier this year, I fell upon a story about two artists living in a cool space by the Plaza (full story here: At Home with Grace Townley and Spencer Lott).  Grace is the goddaughter of Fred Rogers (yes, Mr. Rogers) and Spencer is a puppeteer.  I was immediately intrigued so I visited his website (here) and shot off an email to inquire about a birthday project for my girlfriend.

What followed was truly one of the most fun projects I've ever worked on, and what Amanda now refers to as the "best gift I've ever given her." 

Spencer Lott is an artistic gem -- and he was a pleasure to work with.  He asked for photos, details about us, things we like to do, personality traits, etc.  From those, he successfully turned our family into funky finger puppets housed in a vintage airstream.  He also included a hand-drawn family portrait that included every single detail I'd given him. The outcome far exceeded my expectations.  Neither of us like to have photos of ourselves displayed in the house but we now consider this our family portrait and proudly display it on our mantel. 

If you're looking for a cool gift, check out Spencer's work at www.misterlott.com.  He lives in KC, but is happy to work with people out of state, too.  Whether it's a family of finger puppets or a stuffed animal for your kid, Spencer has ideas that remind you what gift giving is all about.

Old to New

We finally finished our restoration project and couldn't be happier.

After nearly a year of searching for the perfect piece, the lovely blonde found a vintage Baker Sofa on craigslist.  We thought $100 was a steal of a deal.  Only one owner who bought it brand new in 1960 and after several years in the family, they were ready to part with it.  The piece meant a lot to her because it belonged to her mom and was the couch she grew up on.  She shared stories and told us that it was originally called a "conversational" sofa because of its size (9 ft long) and the way it was designed with a curve which made it easier for people sitting on the ends to converse.  

We knew we had our work cut out for us, but we decided on a restoration project rather than paying upwards of $5-$10K (no joke) for something similar that someone else restored. The sofa was originally a yellow/green color that we loved, but the fabric was pretty worn.  We decided we wanted something more durable and a little funkier.  We searched online and in every local fabric store until we finally found this really great orange pattern.  It fits perfectly with the vintage/modern vibe we dig right now.  Another three weeks later, we had all of the foam replaced, restored a few broken legs and had it reupholstered just like the original tufted design.

We entertained family over the weekend and were happy to show off our "new" piece.  Made me wish we had one more so they could face each other and be even more conversational.  I love breathing life back into old furniture.  Sometimes it's better to go out with the NEW and in with the OLD. 

Ring of Fire

I am often overwhelmed by the natural awe that surrounds me.  Like this sky.  It's sort of like a blended beauty of simplicity and complexity. Living in the Midwest has its downfalls -- no beach, which my brother in FL always rubs in.  Likewise, my sisters living in UT would chime in with "and no mountains." But, one of the positives is the amazing sunrise and sunset. If you're not paying attention you could easily miss it. While taking the dogs out this morning I noticed what looked like a ring of fire in the sky. It was still there on my way to work an hour later.  The longer I stared at it the funnier it was to me.  Why?  It was like someone grabbed a cloud, wound it up in a softball pitch and threw it at the sun.  The result?  A really cool sky blended from orange to dark blue.  The rays were just beaming all over the place and I couldn't help but smile.

It's moments like that when I realize just how small I am in the grand scheme of things.  It's a humbling feeling to say the least.  It makes me happy to be exactly where I am right now and it also reminds me that no matter how busy life gets, sometimes you just need to  

stop, 
look up, 
breathe it all in, 
and feel your feet on the ground.

Do Something

"Do something for someone else."  

I was raised by an amazing mom who always encouraged spontaneous good deeds.  Small ways of helping others by thinking beyond yourself.  She planted this good deed seed with all of us at a very young age.  Throughout my life, I've heard the whisper of those words countless times: do something for someone else.  It's how the idea of Paint it Forward came to me three years ago.

I'm also a huge fan of Simon Sinek.  Over the past year, I've taken on several projects based on a question he posed during his 99% Conference Speech -- watch the whole 30 minute video (below), but for this portion Que up minute 18:49. Sinek asks, "What are you doing to help the person next to you?" 

Simon, my mom and I share a common belief that personal growth is even more profound and fulfilling when you build communities and relationships based on good will, expecting nothing in return. 

I'm a firm believer that big ideas or big moves start with crazy dreams.  I think this is why I love working with startups and small business owners so much.  That's where the magic is.  Most entrepreneurs start with an idea to fulfill a need that isn't being met the way they want it to be.

They dream of doing something.
Bigger. Better. More meaningful. Innovative.

Enter Jaime Lyon.  Jaime is my sister's best friend and I've known her since I was a kid.  If you've had the pleasure of talking to Jaime, you know how amazing her energy is.  It's infectious.  Jaime is someone who supported and encouraged my nerdy-artistic side when I was an awkward, tomboyish kid.  She made me feel normal.  Better than normal...accepted.  She knew I was different and took interest.  My earliest memories of her include small acts of kindness, encouragement and wickedly awesome support.  When you're young, you don't realize just how lucky you are to have someone like Jaime in your life.

Recently, Jaime made a career change.  After more than 12 years in the advertising business she  decided to refocus and do something she's always wanted to do.  In her words, "I want to motivate our youth to be confident, kind, positive and strong communicators. If you feel good you do good!"

How great is that?  Jaime is an artist and motivational speaker.  She paints colorful, imaginative,  original artwork for kids rooms, and she has amazing inspirational workshops in store for teens.  You can learn more about her on LinkedIn or visit her shop at etsy.com/shop/JaimeLyonArt.

I'm always honored to spend time with Jaime.  We learn from each other and our conversations seem to get better and better. Collaborating together, we were able to translate her vision into branding material.  In retrospect, to #paintitforward in this way is the very least I can do for someone who truly helped shape my inner artist from such an early age.  I can't wait to see what's next for Jaime.